A Very Strong Hold

3:00am - I awoke ready to cry. An urgency filled my body as if something were wrong. I can feel it. I sensed it. I quickly rose from bed and went downstairs for quiet and to keep from waking anyone else. I grabbed the tissues and started to pray before my knees ever hit the floor. I spread out burying my face in the carpet.

"I am here Lord. What is going on? I am ready to pray." I accepted the assignment from the Lord. Suddenly my lips began to move rapidly and I doubled over in a pain that I cannot explain. I could tell that it is strong. The emotions swept over me like a flood and then I saw it - a dark figure rose up in my vision and this figure was wicked and it was evil. I asked the Lord to cover me before the battle. I asked and pleaded for God to protect me. The Spirit of the Lord took hold of me and took over. The battle began. The large evil figure had the same man the octopus had. It held him tight with both hands. I prayed for God to send his mightiest warriors to rescue and to release this young man from the hold this figure had upon him. Suddenly angels appeared. They were strong and mighty - prepared for battle. They carried swords and immediately began to strike at the large figure. The large figure seemed to tower over them. They surrounded the figure and struck from all sides. I could see and hear the sounds of their blows. They hit hard and with great authority.

While this continued, I continued to heave as if I were going to throw up. With tears puddled beneath me, I felt sick. I felt as if I were there. I ached. I couldn't stand being in the presence of this evil thing. I could since the danger, wickedness, and strength of the dark figure. He was evil. It had such a grip upon the man and would not release him.

I then began to say out loud to the Lord, "I can't do this Lord it is too hard. I need some help." The battle was so strong that I could hardly stand it. I wanted and needed to rise up and call someone else to help me pray through it. It was now 5:00am and I did not want to call that early.

I began to pray again. I called out - speaking in my prayer language. I know it sounds strange but I could now understand what I was praying about when I first started praying like this years ago, I had no idea what I was saying. My lips began to move with great authority and it felt so strange - almost as if I had no control over them. They began to speak clear words - direct commands almost - I wished I understood what language I was speaking. The words came and it felt as if someone else were saying them while I understood what the words meant.

I said - "Release him in the name of Jesus!" He belongs to God the Father!" After saying this for a while I saw that one hold on the dark figure was released. It was so hard, He flailed his arms and fought the whole time the angels were battling him. When the one hold was released, an angel jumped between that one hand and the person being held keeping the dark figure from being able to grab hold of him again with that hand. However, the other hand continued holding the man.

That made the figure even more angry. The battle continued but no release. I stopped because I felt so sick from crying, grieving, and being in the presence of that evil spirit. I had to stop. I was drained. I was emotionally drained. I was physically drained. I told the Lord that I could not do it any longer. I then heard the Lord ask me to go and get my one year bible. I read the scripture for that day and understood so much more.

Mark 9: 14- 29

After reading this passage I understood that the hold happened when he was a child.

"Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?" "From childhood," he answered." (vs 21)

When the disciples asked Jesus, "Why couldn't we drive it out?" (Mk 9: 28) Which is what I was wondering at the time. This was the first time I had been called into prayer and the evil spirit was not defeated or released. Not by my doing but the Lord.

The next verse said, "He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer." ( 29)

I rose up knowing that prayer would need to be the answer and one other thing the Lord showed me. The young man in the vision was not fighting or trying to get free from this hold. He stood there while the evil creature had its grip on him. I understood that in order for this person to become totally free form this hold, he would need to pray and he would need to want this hold to be released. Without that - there was only so much that could have been done.

Update:

A while after that battle, the Lord opened an opportunity for me to speak with this man about the vision and strong hold in his life. He did not deny it - in fact he confirmed that "yes he did have a strong hold he had been dealing with his whole life" and felt that it was hindering his ability to serve the Lord in the way he wanted to serve. I shared with him that in order to truly be free from it - he would have to want it - desire it - pray for it. It can happen.

I could not portray the image that I saw. It was a millions times scarier than my drawing and the battle scene itself was amazing. One day I may take art lessons so that I can truly capture the images correctly.

A Plea for Healing

During that season of rest and moving into the next year, my father became very ill. I started having dreams about strange things. I continued to pray for my father and cried out to the Lord for healing on his behalf. One day I fell upon my face to intercede for my father and the Lord revealed something to me.

2/15/06

Vision:

As I began to pray I cried as usual and my heart ached. My tears flowed a constant flow and the grief I felt was almost unbearable. With my whole heart, I wanted the Lord to show me that He would heal my father. As my prayer language took over I became entranced in prayer - so deep - that everything in the whole world stopped moving. I was in another place - at the feet of the Lord. I saw a strange ghost like figure standing in the doorway. At first I was fearful but then heard the Lord say to me, "It's the angel of death." It's skeleton figure, ghostly eyes, and hair standing on end looked fearful but I understood and could feel that it was not going to harm me nor was it an evil spirit.

After praying and watching what I believed to be the "angel of death," the scene moved to me standing in front of a very large over sized curtain. It was like looking at a screen at a theatre and someone then closes the curtain. A man had his arm around me - it was Jesus. As the scene unfolded I saw the curtain close and then realized that Jesus had opened the curtain to show me the angel of death and the curtain was now closing. With his arm around me a bright light shown so bright that I could not see his face. As we turned around, I heard Jesus laugh and reassure me that everything was okay and that I had nothing to fear about my father. The vision ended, the tears stopped, and the prayer was over.

I thought about that vision for a while. I always thought that the angel of death was like the angels we hear about in the Bible. I then came to understand something. When the Egyptians lost their first born it was the "angel of death" that swept through and took them. It was death. Death takes the body but an angel of the Lord takes our soul to heaven.

A few weeks before my father passed away, I had another vision while praying.

Vision:

I saw my father shriveled up, old, and weak lying in a hospital bed. I will never forget the way his face was shaped and formed during that vision. Suddenly an angel floated down from heaven and hovered over his body. She then took hold of him and stood him up right beside the bed. He looked young, healthy, and in a new body. He smiled at me happy and content. She then took him by the hands and floated up to heaven with her. That old body was left lifeless in the bed.

That vision was difficult because I knew that my father was not going to be healed but God was going to take him home. When my father died, we were all in the hospital room with him. It was such a sweet passing. After he passed, I sat and focused on his body and face. His face and body were exactly the way the Lord showed me in the vision. I smiled because I knew that it was only a body, my father was really with the Lord.

A Season of Rest

After that trying time, the Lord would bring a season of rest. That season was a time to grieve, a time to reflect, a time to rest my heart and mind. A well known intercessor once told me that God would that. I can remember waiting for that time to come and happen. I longed for it, I needed it, and at the right moment, it came. I would not be called to pray through a spiritual warfare, a battle, or anything other than my daily quiet time I had with the Lord. With it all being so new to me I needed to rest. At times my emotions got the better of me and I truly felt like I was falling apart. But the Lord is good and the Lord is faithful, and the Lord never gives you more than you can handle.

During that season of rest, a friend of mine took me to an intercessor she knew. We met and though she did not have the gift of prophetic intercession, the Lord placed something on her heart for me while I was in her presence. She turned and put on a CD. She said the Lord was telling her that I needed to hear this particular song. Josh Groben sang out with "You Raise Me Up." She prayed over me while the song played. I cannot tell you what an overwhelming experience that was for me. The Spirit of the Lord fell upon me, I wept, and knew that God was speaking to me. She didn't know that a few days before our meeting I drew a picture of an imagine the Lord had given me. God is amazing.

The Last Piece

Sometimes things can be so obvious but for some reason it doesn't connect. Putting the lines together, connecting the dots, and putting that last piece of the puzzle together would have us believe that we can then make sense of the picture, but even after all of that we at times still take a step back to try to figure out the picture.

I had one last dream before it all unfolded; a dream so obvious but for some reason it didn't connect with me - for some reason I didn't get - for some reason my mind could not grasp the meaning of the dream - but my husband did get it. He understood the meaning. God had revealed it to him.

Dream:

My husband and I were in a very large city. We were getting gas at a gas station and suddenly needed to get somewhere and in a hurry. We had to cross four lanes going one direction. That is how big the city was. We waited on the traffic to pass until we found an opening and then we drove across the four lanes and on to the grass. We drove across the field and toward a beautiful valley. We drove through the valley out in the country toward a small cabin. My father-in-law was sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of the cabin. When we arrived, he took us inside. My mother-in-law was sitting in a chair at the table. She looked beautiful and radiant. She began to show me her ruby and emerald rings. They were huge. I felt in awe and amazed at the sight of them. She was so excited about the jewels she wore. She wore a crown on her head filled with jewels as well. Our meeting was so special. We sat and basked in her joy. She was so happy. I then woke up.

About one month after that dream, my husband I traveled to a very large city for our anniversary. During that time, we received a phone call that his mother had a heart attack and did not make it. We needed to travel back home from that large city. I remember grieving over the loss of my precious mother-in-law and at the same time grieving over the fact that I had it all wrong. I had been telling my husband that I thought it would be his dad. I felt like such a failure in delivering the message I thought God wanted me to deliver. God never told me to tell my husband that his father would die - he did tell me to share with him that someone would die. My own assumption was that it would be his father. After apologizing to my husband and weeping about it all, he gently told me that after the last dream, he understood that it would be his mother.

Update:

While family gathered at our home for the service, my father-in-law woke up one morning to share that he had a dream. He had been asking God why this would happen. He said that the Lord told him in his dream not to worry that everything would be okay and that it was for the best because my mother-in-law had cancer. The Lord wanted to spare her the difficult journey.

My father-in-law shared that if tested he had no doubt that it would be cancer of the liver. My mother-in-law had battled cancer before and shared that if it ever came back she would not be able to go through the chemo - it would be too difficult for her. I am amazed at the love the Father has for my husband that He would go to great lengths to prepare him for such a moment.

Someone is Going to Die

A few days after the last dream, I became emotional and felt called into prayer. I went into the laundry room, fell prostrate on the floor, and began to pray. I cried as usual, my stomach and heart hurt, and the prayer language began.

I understood the Lord telling me that one of my husband's parents was going to die. It would not be in a day or week - but soon. As I continued to pray a vision unfolded:

Vision

I saw my in-law lying in the bed in a hospital room. I saw only the feet. The Lord did not reveal the face to me. I don't remember but three or four people came into the room and stood at the foot of the bed. I could only see the back of their heads. A doctor stood off to the side and said, "I'm so sorry." He then left the room. I understood that the person in the bed was dead.

A few moments later my tears turned from tears of intercession to tears of grief. I knew - I knew that one of my in-laws was going to die. I was so grieved by it all. In that moment of my grieving the Lord told me that I needed to go and tell my husband.

I cried even more saying to God, "I can't Lord! I just can't do that - he will not believe me."

"Why?" I cried out. "Why do I need to tell him Lord?"

The Lord answered, "because I want him to be prepared."

I remember lying there in the hands of God grieving over the loss of something that I knew was going to come and then grieving over the fact that I needed to go and tell my husband something so difficult. How would he ever believe me!

The Lord eased my tears as I found my husband and told him the news. I am not sure what he thought about it all. He didn't say much. I wanted him to know that I told him because the Lord wanted him to be prepared. That was one of the hardest things I had to do. So began the waiting of truly what would happen.

Another Dream

Piece 2 -

A few days later, after the first dream about my father-in-law, I had another dream. Sometimes when the Lord tries to share and tell us something it can be so very clear while at other times, it is like putting together a puzzle and you are only given pieces. Each piece means something but to have the knowledge and understanding to make sense of it is not always easy.

Dream:

My husband and I were in a hospital waiting room. A doctor came out and told us that it had to do with the liver. It wasn't clear to me if the person he was speaking about was my mother-in-law or my father-in-law but I knew in the dream that it had something to do with either one of them. I was assuming that it had to do with my father-in-law because he wasn't in good health at the time.

All that day the dream lingered in the air and weighed heavy on my heart. I had such an urgency to call my father-in-law and ask him about his liver as well as urge him to go and get it checked.

I prayed. I prayed more. I couldn't shake the feeling of needing to call and so I did.

As I said earlier - I am still learning about what to do when things like this happen - when to act and when to be still. I called my father-in-law and asked him when the last time it was that he had his liver checked. He said that as a matter of fact he was getting a full work up at the end of that month and he would have them check his liver. I know it must have sounded strange to him but he had it checked anyway.

Update:

My father-in-law did get his liver checked at the end of that month. There were no problems with his liver.

A Piece of the Message

I had a dream that year during that summer. I did not write it down but will share:

Dream:

I saw my father-in-law in a beautiful meadow. He was pulling a beautiful white horse. The horse was without a rider. He pulled the horse by the reigns over toward a beautiful tree. Under the tree were many beautiful flowers. The place was restful and peaceful - so tranquil. I then woke up.

After that dream I began to feel that someone in my husband's family was going to die. I knew something was wrong but could not put the pieces together. I thought that because I saw my father-in-law pulling the horse that it would be him. I remember not being able to focus or concentrate on anything but that dream. It unsettled me and I knew God was trying to tell me something. Time would reveal itself.

A Strong Hold

August 2005

I entered the presence of someone new today. My husband walked in and I began to get emotional. Tears swelled - I suppressed them. I mouthed the words - "Something is wrong. What is wrong?" He told me that someone had just called at that moment with an issue. Perhaps it was that. I really didn't know. My husband left and I fell on my face to pray. I prayed and the Holy Spirit fell upon me as I prayed in my prayer language. The Lord began to unfold a picture and I realized that the move to pray had nothing to do with the phone call but everything to with being in the presence of that person that day. (Again - I am not an artist - I just try to draw what I see. My drawings do not depict the true visual of what I saw)

I saw a huge octopus. The octopus had hold of the person that was new in my presence that day. I cried out for God to send his mightiest warriors to help this person. The person was not fighting at all. It allowed the octopus to hold on to him. An angel of the Lord came - a warrior - and began swinging his sword at the octopus. Another angel came. The octopus flailed around fighting the angel off. The angel appeared so small compared to the octopus. After a while of prayer, I realized that this day there would not be victory. The battle and hold was too strong.

I wasn't sure what was going on that day or what the octopus symbolized. I understood that there was some kind of hold on this person, it was strong, and it was really big. This was the first of many battles to come regarding this person.

Update:

Trying to make sense of what the octopus meant, I spoke with a friend of mine who is an intercessor. She spoke with someone who has studied and teaches intercession and felt that the octopus symbolized a "Jezebel Spirit". I have no idea how she came to that conclusion or if it really might mean that.

Money

August 8, 2005

I was driving home from the doctor’s office when I became emotional. I turned off the interstate and towards the road that led towards home.

About five minutes from my house, I started weeping. I could not control it. I grabbed the tissues from the front seat and began to wipe away the tears. The emotion came stronger and stronger as the Holy Spirit came upon me and I began to speak in my language - still trying to drive and get home.

As I stopped at the stop light, I noticed that the work van in front of me belonged to someone from my church. My tears intensified.

I parked in the garage, hurried to my room, closed the door and fell on my face – the urgency to pray was stronger and overbearing.

My stomach hurt so much that I doubled over and felt as if I would vomit. My heart hurt too – all the while I prayed asking the Lord what was going on. I remember looking at the clock that read 10:00am. About twenty minutes into the prayer I sat up from lying prostrate on the floor because the pain hurt my stomach and I was crying so hard that it felt as if I could not breathe.

My crying intensified as well as the praying. My lips moved swiftly as if I had no control over what I was saying. I began to hurt even more in my heart and stomach. I cried deeply.

Then I heard someone walking on the roof of my house. I heard the steps from one end of the roof to the other. I stopped praying for a moment to listen and then continued on again. I fell to my face with an intensity that I cannot explain. Something was wrong. Something was wrong!

A part of me wanted to get up and look – but the Lord kept me where I was – deep in prayer.

As it slowed down – I got up and walked to the window, looked out the front, and saw the same work van that I had seen earlier. It was the same man – He was on my roof – why – I did not know. I continued to pray and then God revealed something to me.

I had a vision.

I saw this man standing on a roof. I then saw that he had money in his hands and he was putting it secretively in his pocket. I understood that he was pocketing money from someone or something. I did not understand what it was all about or why. I only know that God called me to intercede about something concerning this man and money.


Update:

Years later this man left our church. I never shared with anyone about that moment. If I had to guess, I would have guessed that this man was stealing or cheating someone financially. He was doing some work that day on our roof for our church. I have no idea if he was cheating them or not. I had the discernment that he was pocketing money. I did not know this man and never told anyone about what had happened until several years later.

For the Love of a Child

June – 2005

I once again became emotional tonight. A vision came to me as I was praying.

Vision:

I first saw a small child. I had no idea if it was a girl or a boy. The baby was between 15 months to 18 months old. I then saw a friend of mine who is a nurse practitioner. The vision continued as another person appeared. I only saw the back of this young lady. She had blond hair that looked as if it came down to her shoulders. The picture then moved to my mother-in-law and father-in-law. My father–in-law was sitting down as my mother-in-law stood beside him. In the vision she looked very upset about something. She was crying. She did not appear to be upset with my father-in-law but with something else. The emotion seemed to affect me as I prayed and cried over this situation. I did not fully understand what was happening, nor did the Lord reveal to me during my prayer what I was praying about. I only understood that it had something to do with that child, the other woman, and my mother-in-law. I also understood that it might be a medical issue because I saw my friend who is in the medical field.

When my prayer time was done my husband asked me if I was all right.

“You might want to give your mom a call,” I said.

He asked why and I stated that she was upset. We both knew that was unusual for his mother. He did not truly believe but called her anyway. He spoke with his dad and as he expected his dad said that everything was fine and that my mother-in-law was doing well. My mother in law was not there at the moment so he hung up the phone feeling as if everything was fine and there wasn’t anything to worry about.

The very next night around 9:00pm the phone rang. I heard my husband trying to console and comfort someone on the other end of the line. After a lengthy conversation he hung up the phone. I asked if everything was all right.

My husband said, “That was my mom and she was upset.” It was just as the Lord revealed.

His great niece was just a baby – around fifteen months old. She had been having seizures. She was the baby I saw. The doctors put her in the hospital and ran some tests. The tests showed that there was a tumor on her spine. That is what his mother was so upset about. The young woman I saw with blond hair was my husband's niece.

It seemed to all fit into place now. We continued to pray for the baby and the family. Soon more tests revealed that the tumor on the back of her spine was nothing – almost like a small air pocket. God is good.


Update:

2007 - One year ago A- (the baby) was diagnosed with leukemia. She has been doing a great job of fighting it. It has been difficult for the family.
2008 – A - is not doing well – we will continue to pray.
2009 – A - is doing fine and in a special school now. She continues to fight the leukemia.

May 2005 - Evil Spirit

On this particular day I was called to pray. Sometimes I will see an image that doesn't make sense to me - this was one of those days. All I know is that through the crying once again and the speaking in my prayer language this evil spirit appeared. The battle was difficult - the prayer was hard. I asked God to reveal to me more of what this was about but He did not. Through prayer, no angels came to fight - no white knights - I didn't see any fire or anything I had seen before.

As the prayer started I felt like this creature or spirit was right up next to me. As the vision unfolded I could see it staring right in my eyes close to me. I understood that it was evil because I could feel it and the Lord revealed that much to me. After I prayed for a long while and the prayer intensified, the evil spirit began to slowly back away from me - it was as if he had moved from being right eye to eye level with me to a far away field. It never disappeared - it only moved far away. I realized that through the battle whatever the evil spirit was about or was trying to do - the Lord came in - intervened - and through prayer the evil spirit was moved.

Update:

A friend of mine took me to see a friend of hers who was an intercessor. We were hoping she could help us make some sense of the picture. Her first thought after looking was that the evil spirit had something to do with a region - an area - a large territory of something. It could have been our church - neighborhood - or town. The enmy works in many ways.