Fueled by God

God is our fuel, energy, and the Great One who fills our every fiber with Himself. He is the one who gives us what we need to get from this place to that one. He is the one who fills us with what we need in order to become the person and disciple we need to be. I am realizing that we must never venture too far away from the pump and we must always understand what pump we need to be standing in front of.

A week or so ago I had a dream that I did not journal about. It really didn't make any sense to me at the time - until today. Now I completely understand what God was trying to say to me and I always feel like kicking myself for not paying more attention to those dreams that I may not fully understand.

Dream:

I saw myself standing at a pump getting gas. I was happy - content - unstressed and knew I was right where I needed to be. Suddenly a man driving a black pickup truck pulled up beside me and said, "You can't get fuel there. You need to go to the other pump. "

The next scene showed the man taking me to the other pump. I still held onto the gas handle and cord from the last pump. - meaning I was still connected to that pump. (still connected to God) I started following the man to the pump he said I needed to get gas from. We walked through one room - and then another - then around this corner and into another! Still not finding the gas pump. Again another room and out one building and into another! I remember saying to myself in the dream, "Where in the world are you taking me and where is the gas pump?" We never did find the gas pump he said I needed to pump from before I woke up.

I had been ministering to several women in our church for a month now. I prayed before entering into that and felt even while doing so that God was ever present and I was doing exactly what the Lord asked me to do. God was working and we could all see it and feel it.

Recently there was some resistance against my meeting with that group. I met with a man on Wednesday who basically said, "You can't pump there!" Or "That way" no you need to follow me and do it this way. "This is the path and the way to recovery." Of course I was offended and we never did come to an agreement that his way was the only way to recovery or way to minister to a group.

This morning as I was reading through my Bible the Lord reminded me of that dream. I realized right then that was what the Lord was trying to reveal to me. I understood by looking back on the dream that pickup truck means "work" or "personal ministry." The man who met with me had a personal ministry he was trying to point me to and through.

Black: means "sin - lacking - ignorance." (His black pick up truck)

I felt the man was lacking information into what our group was all about - even more so he was ignorant about how God could possibly have been working through this group I was facilitating. He should have spent time seeking the Lord First and allowing God to show him how he might be working through this ministry First before coming to his own conclusion of what was happening or going on.

I also felt he was pretty ignorant and lacking about who I really was - that God could possibly use me to minister to other women. He questioned my ability to do that not understanding that I have years of experiencing in doing just this as well as being a Board Certified Therapist as well as being a Certified Facilitator with the American Cancer Society and spending years working in Hospice as well as facilitating support groups, teaching Bible studies, as well as writing them and devotions.

The fact that I still held onto the gas pump meant I was still connected to the pump. Rather than following this man through all of these rooms - this way and that way - which ultimately caused some issues between us - I should have just stayed at the pump. I am learning to recognize those moments when I allow the flesh to take me down paths I shouldn't go.

The next day I found myself at work completely broken about all of this. I reached down to push the button on the elevator when my eyes caught this scripture that had been placed on the side.
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
I smiled knowing that God was talking to me. If I continued to commit to God this work than it will succeed. So I shall press on with what God has called me to do remaining at the right pump - not being swayed - not being moved - always allowing the right fuel to lead and guide me.